just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
