My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
