Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
