I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
