Don't make out with my wife yet
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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