i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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