All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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