Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
