I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
