i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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