We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
