I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
