My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
