We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
