Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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