THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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