Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
