So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
