I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
