First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
try to milk me bitch
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
