How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
