the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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