yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
