so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
