were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I need a burrito and a hug.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
