so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
