I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize