got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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