Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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