I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Enjoy the penises
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He shit in the fireplace
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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