So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The adults are the big ones right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize