She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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