There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
