i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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