Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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