She announced her abortion via fbk
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
