yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
