awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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