Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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