I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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