i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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