It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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