She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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