i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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