Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
