i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
im on a boat
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