My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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