taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
