Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
