how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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