And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
