Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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