i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
