Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
