We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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