im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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