whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
