i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
