What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Also, beer. Big fan.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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