This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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