Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
