My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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