Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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