I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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