You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
