I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
