Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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